Had a peaceful day out yesterday. It was some time since I ventured onto the same-old same-old Orchard Road. (Coming from someone who used to frequent Orchard Road at least 4-5 times a week in the past, that's really something lol.)
Recently I'd been having coffee milkshake cravings. It all started when I met up with G over the last weekend at Marina Square. Had a huge Billy Bombers' coffee shake to myself. Glory! So yesterday at MOS Burger I put aside the voice in my head and ordered their coffee shake. It arrived deliciously white and frothy, the only thing betraying its vanilla shake appearance were the miniscule coffee specks.
Whilst allowing the thick liquid to slide down my throat, I found myself just wondering.. When was the last time I could say confidently that I was truly and completely happy? Has life turned me into someone else? Have I forgotten what it means to be young? To be happy?
Maybe its better to be like those empty people around. Maybe its less heartache to dressed up to reveal everything, spend loads of $ on small things, force one's body to eat nothing.
Well someone said to me on MSN today: "You're just jealous."
Jealous of such foolishness? I'd never even thought of it before. But now that I have, why in the world would I want to spend money on something called an outfit and have it fit less than 1/5 of my body? I mean, yeah bikinis and all manner of under-clothing aside.
And why would I wanna spend so much on a stupid bag that can't even hold more than my handphone and my keys?
Perhaps after all this is said and done, enlightenment is required to purge all our spending regrets and can only be achieved if we deprive ourselves of food! So eating nothing for meals is hence justified.
"Oh, oh and its good for your figure as well!"
...
Anyway I was thinking back to my poly days. Kris and co. and those endless Saturdays at the beach. Somehow in my mind all the Saturdays seem to be rolled into one.
All that sunshine.
Looking back I feel blessed with such friends who didn't care what the trends of the day were. Such liberation :)
Well Kris, I really admire you sometimes, and I've told you that before. Who says fat people can't do yoga? Go girl! ^^
Funny how looking at my range of friends, I realise I seem to have found the truest friendship in all manner of unlikely places.
Maybe it is this loathing of conformity and being just another face in the cookie-cutter crowd that repels me more than anything, preventing me from fitting in anywhere I go.
- 16 March 2006 5:50pm -
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